my adversaries have thwarted my efforts
...or just a fun way of saying i got sick :(
i wish i could say the cold i got is the cause of the somewhat low quality of my new game: death of a monkey. but it isn't. maybe i self-criticise too much on this blog but i'm just being frank about the quality of work i produce sometimes... it's an okay story. but i wanted to just make something and have it finished and be able to completely participate in something so i shared it anyway.
let's break down some elements i guess? if you're not into artist statements, you can skip to the bottom for updates.
what is the antennics thing? the antennics system mentioned a lot in the game is just a fictional multi-media console that uses radio signals to import additional data (mostly audio for video games). it's based of the satellaview (a real console add-on), which i found out about shortly into writing the story. i had the concept of "depressed teen who's fave video game characters suddenly appear" and then added that in because it felt like it made it more... moody? "antennics" was my attempt at making a marketable portmanteau, combining "antenna" and "optics". i'd like to explore it more in depth in another game, or spiritual successor to this one, by recreating what i think the actual console and it's software would look like.
the art style? yes i'm not very good at drawing. i like monkey's portrait, and originally had more character portraits but... eh... at least i can say something about how the uh, juvenile art style reflects the main character's inner world and how they are stuck in perpetual-immaturity and thus view themself and those most important to them (video game characters) as simple, child-like drawings, while disregarding everything else that is actually real with distorted images that doesn't even reflect anything remotely based in reality.
cheesy ending? i'm just surprised i was able to create something in such a short amount of time that i felt was "finished". so the ending is kind of tacked on cuz i got most of the way there then... but anyway. i kind of like the game, it grows on me more and more, which makes sense because i made it but you know how it is...
monkey? i didn't really explore this topic in anywhere near as much depth as i could have, but i think anger is something that gets overlooked a lot when people share experiences with depression. sometimes you are just a ball of angry energy and that can make you just as suicidal as other negative emotions. so monkeys and apes, being something we commonly use when referring to someone having a lack of control over anger or explosive energy ("going apeshit"), just felt appropriate. "death of a monkey" - you have to kill the monkey to move on. sometimes it can be hard to know if that means you'll be killing yourself or not, but one day you will realise you are not the monkey and the monkey is actually something else controlling you, but you will still feel as much pain as if it was you, because it's been with you for so long.
and on to other topics...
we are still making moves on the new l+d project, which is proving to be lots of fun for myself and the artist. i recently watched mtv's downtown and loved the conversational dialogue it uses. it's given me inspiration for how to write love and dove with a better voice. at the request of our 1 loyal (or at least, vocal) fan, i'll also make a new shell at some point that uses the original higher definition drawings. it'll be an optional download.
i've also been writing up a zine on my favourite childhood games because people frequently get (playfully) annoyed with me when i say things like no i never played zelda or mario party but i LOVED facade. yes, that facade. so i thought i'd write a bit about all the games i loved that are not commonly mentioned as "classic childhood games". one thing i've noted when writing it is how much the music and sfx of all those games have stuck with me. sound is really a powerful part of game design that often gets so overlooked, but when you recognise a game by its menu sfx alone, doesn't that feel special?
and finally i've been considering getting into writing flash fiction. i've started reading some (if you have any recommendations, send it through!) and thought it would be cool to make a ghost that reads you a story once per day or something, with each one being a piece of flash fiction i've written. of course, that would mean i'd have to produce a pretty high volume of stuff, but because each component is short to write i can work on it in the background for a while.